Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's blow job season.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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