you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
