He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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