No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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