Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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