call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
