I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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