Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
