butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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