guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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