Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
