saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
