in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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