It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
