if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I look better un-naked...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
