That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
