LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
