We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
