you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
