Porn is love you can see.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
