sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
