do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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