Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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