i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He has the fingertips of a God
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
