Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
