I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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