I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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