She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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