There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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