and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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