I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want nice things and good sex
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
