Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize