I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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