We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
