I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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