Screwed.edu
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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