your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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