we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
