Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
