dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
