You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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