Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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