You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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