Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
