just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize