They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
operation harelip BJ is a go
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
