That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
