"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
