After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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