it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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