and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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