remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
