Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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