we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
