i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize