also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
