I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
