I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
