chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
