My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize