He uses pillows to masturbate.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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