I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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