I hate your face
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize