I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize