I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
