trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
