OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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