take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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